It took me longer to write this story than to give birth! The truth is child birth cannot be contained in words. It is entangled with heaps of emotions . This mysterious storm of pregnancy & childbirth has changed me for good . Anyway I think I deserve a round of applause for completing this post between feeding , diaper change and lack of sleep.
So here goes..
We were asked to come in for an induction at 40 weeks. I was given a sublingual tablet at 5.30am on April 11th and was told that I would be checked again in the next few hours. Since nothing happened for sometime me and rohit figured there was no point in us waiting so we went off to sleep.
At around 6.30 am i started getting a cramp like ache in my lower stomach.We decided to go for a short walk after our breakfast to see if I could get some contractions going. As hours passed by ,the pain grew inside me. It was bad but I was able to bear it so I would call them extreme menstrual cramps. Those were actually contractions building up energy to squash me like a tornadao.
By 12.30pm I was starting to feel pretty uncomfortable . I knew the pain was crossing the bearable limits. After having a light lunch i went in for a pelvic examination. I dreaded pelvic examination and screamed my lungs out every single time. I was supposedly dilated to 2cm . The doctor told me that there was a septum( same being the reason for painful pelvic examination) which can probably be a hinderance or could cause a tear when the baby pushes itself to come out. But sometimes it can also move out of the way when the baby comes.
At 1.30pm i was taken inside the delivery room for giving me injection (pitocin) to induce more contractions.I couldn’t cope up with the injection as it was causing incessant cramping. The contractions were getting mighty strong . The pain was stabbing. I felt like my intestines were being twisted. This was definitely not anything like menstrual cramps. It was intense excruciating pain. The pain left me feeling tortured. The worst thing is that as soon as you get through one contraction you know another one is on its way. It was wearing me down. As time passed by the time gap between two subsequent contractions reduced leaving me no time to even breathe in between. I felt like someone was wringing my tummy like an old dishrag. During each contraction my stomach became as stiff as a wood. I had heavy sweat sessions going on. Towards the end I don't know if it was sweat or tears on my face. I've heard that child birth is painful but this was beyond anything I have imagined or felt. No wonder it is being talked about so much.
After this they let rohit come inside. Phew . Atleast i had shoulder to lean on, a hand to hold on to. He helped me throughout the pain talking to me and helping me calm down . He did everything that he can to make me feel good.
Soon the doctor decided to break my amniotic sac. Gush came rushing in a ton of amniotic fluid. Again that was a painful scenario( due to the septum). I squished my husband's hand with all the energy i had while this was done . I'm surprised that his fingers are still intact.
I felt all the muscles of my lower back and stomach twitching and aching. In one malayalam movie there is an actor named jagathy who was supposedly insane . He meets the psychiatrist and he describes his problem. He tells that he feels like a horse was running in his stomach. I felt the same thing. The only difference being i was sane.
Another pelvic examination was done only to find that I was only dilated to 5cm with no progress . No crowning of head. No feeling of pushing. Only waves of heavily painful contractions.These contractions i tell you had a mind of their own . After waiting till 5.30pm finally the doctor decided that I should go in for a c-section.
The contractions wouldn’t stop long enough for me to get off the bed where I was kneeing and into the wheelchair. So off I went to the operation theatre in a stretcher. While I was taken out of the room rohit walked alongside the stretcher i was taken in. He held my hand and said dont worry. I got a glimpse of my father ,teary eyed mother, father in law ,mother in law and sister in law all of them awaiting anxiously. I think each of them were saying prayers inside their head. Till this day I believe that the prayers of my husband.,my in-laws and my parents and both sisters got me through this safely.
At around 6.05pm i was taken inside. Once inside the operation theatre I was given spinal anesthesia. It's effect was immediate. I felt alleviated. I could ultimately say goodbye to contractions. The numbness settled in from my stomach till toe. I was fully conscious but I felt serenity around me the second the pain left me . During the operation i was constantly mumbling prayers for everything to go on well. After sometime the doctor took out the baby she said "it's a baby boy. He is finally here" At 6.45 pm our little king, Ryan George Thomas( weighing 3.029kg ) was born.My heart skipped a beat with pure joy when I heard his cry. Hearing that wail i was taken into a world of delight. This little human, of whom I was dreaming to meet was here after 10 long months. I was brimming with absolute glee. My face exploded into million smiles and tears overflowed. It's funny how I forgot all the pain i went through , the second , i knew my pumpkin was here .
Even though the labour took longer than what I expected I'm very glad by gods grace everything went well . I believe that this child is a gift from god. Me and rohit are only take carers. We both are ever grateful to god for ryan. This journey was magical even though there are many ups and downs. It's totally worth it.
Overall I’m amazed at how pregnancy and childbirth is easy for some women while it takes a troll on others. It's different for every women. The realisation of how my mother carried me for 10 months and gave birth dawned on me after this journey. I salute her. I also respect all the mothers in this entire world.
I still can’t really get my head around the fact that I am a Mother. As far as the updates on the baby..Well ryan is so far a calm baby. He doesn't cry unless he is hungry or if he has gas troubles. He is a cheerful 2 and a half month old who is desperately curious to explore this fascinating world.